My whole life has been a tug of war with Desi culture, and living in North America. Arranged marriage was annoying enough (see my Blog Post #1). There are SO many other problems I still have with Desi culture.
The list can go on and on. Seriously , I’ve spent my whole life facing these problems.
HERE IT GOES: Continue reading
Wearing a Hijab in North America is a constant struggle. It’s hard to start, and people make it even harder to continue wearing it.
We “hijabis” are constantly on the defense, constantly questioned.
It’s not like people go up to White females and ask them why they’re wearing shorts. So why are girls who wear hijab expected not to cover themselves?
The Most Common Questions I Face:
DID YOU HUSBAND MAKE YOU DO IT?
I know you’re thinking it. I can tell by the stares. I know you always wonder…
Why is that cloth on my head?
I always wanted to wear it, but I didn’t, up until a few years ago. Wearing a hijab in North America was one of the biggest difficulties I ever faced.
Growing Up in New York:
I was getting SICK and TIRED of rishta stuff. I had breakdowns and even breakouts! I was extremely frustrated with the entire process but my faith had me believing that in the end it would all work out. And this is how my love story began…
How I First Met Him: Continue reading
So for those of you who don’t know, it is pretty much a Desi Auntie’s JOB to be a matchmaker. And by Auntie, I don’t mean your dad’s sister. Being Brown, you call any older lady, such as a family friend, your mom’s friend, or anyone near your mom’s age, an Auntie.
Aunties do their match-making for FREE. And they do it ALL the time.
For those people in hidden relationships, Desi Aunties make life a LIVING HELL. Even though I was not in a relationship, they still managed to make my life miserable.
Grab your popcorn, relax, and enjoy the drama I faced.
Traditionally, the rishta process goes like this:
- Someone informs the girl’s family of a potential bachelor ready for marriage.
- A family friend (or an auntie who thinks you’re pretty enough for their son) calls your mom
- The guy and girl’s pictures are exchanged. Sometimes, this is where it ends. So superficial, right?
- If the process continues, the guy and his family come over and have some small talk.
Depending on how that goes, the process continues. It’s like hiring someone for a job. It’s like survival of the fittest.
RISHTA #1: THE ASS HOLE
I know what you’re thinking:
People still have ARRANGED MARRIAGES!?
That’s like people still using pay phones even after the invention of cell phones!
Yup, if you are a Pakistani Canadian with immigrant parents, you STILL have arranged marriages. Initially, even I was never open to the idea. I had always thought, why on earth should I marry a random stranger with a random family who I don’t even know? Why should I blindly say yes because he has a BMW and his family seems “nice and educated?” Why should I be an ornament that some family brings into their home, just because it “fits in” with their family?
I did not want to be picked only for my good looks, or my ultra-slim physique, or even my height. I wanted to be picked for who I was: a girl who lived by her values. Which girl wouldn’t want that, right?
What I always wanted: